Bree Van De Kamp

Ok, can I just say for the record that I hate neat people? Like for real, I do. It's been a while since I've been here but I just have to share yesterday's experience.

I had a networking committee meeting at the home of one of the organization's board members. Let's call her Cindy. Cindy's home is absolutely gorgeous - its huge and has every HGTV's "gotta have" home detail. Granite counters, coffered ceilings, awesome millwork, themed decorating in the children's room, and so on and so on. Just lovely. But the reason I had to blog is because her home, which is currently populated by a spouse and small boys, was pretty much immaculate. I saw no dust, no clutter, not even laundry in the laundry room!!! She had all of these lovely hor d'oeuvres in lovely plates and plates and glass and silverware. Everything just perfect. We'll call this Exhibit A for why I hate neat people.

Exhibit B - My college friend er uhm, Anita. Yeah, I'll call her Anita. Anita and her husband are engineers. No matter when I go over to visit, the place is disgustingly perfect. It is also populated by small kids.

Exhibit C - My house. My house looks like 27 people live in it. When I ask my kids to pick up their clothes from the bed and put them away, they do. They throw them on the floor and leave. I have 5 loads of unfolded laundry in the bonus room. Every morning I fold my arms, look at them and blink with a nod of my  my head. But they don't disappear. I'm beginning to think that Jeannies are not real. All of this is why I hate neat people. Now matter how much I fold and put away the pile never completely disappears (unless I move it to another room, which is my "get out of jail" ticket when guests come to visit).

I used to be a ridiculous "Desperate Housewives" fan before it became RIDICULOUS - sorry fans.  I never thought much of Bree  because I thought, "Oh it's just TV". But believe me - Bree is really out there.


http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Like-Bree-Van-De-Kamp-from-%22Desperate-Housewives%22

Inspiration Room



My husband and I have talked about turning our third floor into a guest suite. I found this picture of a hotel suite - a fancy one. I think this will be my inspiration, at least for the moment. The only problem is that I also need the room to double as an office for me. Nothing commerical - just need a desk, a phone jack and internet connections. That's doable without being tacky, right? I'm sure it is.



Today I just got the September edition of Veranda. The cover alone is enough to deepen my discontent for my own lack of interior design creativity.

Before

DON'T DO THIS!!!

I know of a certain person whose identity I will not disclose who has fake flowers planted all around his/her property. If it is proper for one to be offended by overgrown grass, or mildew covered vinyl siding, then it's fair for me to take offense to fake flowers being planted outside!

I am not a garden snob or anything of the sort. In the past, I've had my share of HOA letters sent. However, one thing that continues to mystify me is the choice that some folks make to plant artificial flowers in their landscape. Fake flowers remind me of cemeteries. Whenever I look at the aforementioned person's yard, I get very suscipious that they are burying body parts over there. I don't make eye contact with them, and I don't trust them. All because of fake flowers. Unless you are willing to pay the money to buy artificial flowers that are completely undectable to the human eye, then I would like to suggest the following options:

• If you don't have a green thumb, make friends with someone who does and who loves gardening and ask them to help you plant real flowers.  
• If you choose fake because you don't want the maintainence then do some research to find flowering plants/shrubs that meet your requirements for low/no maintenance.
• If you plant fakes because you feel it a waste of time or boring to spend time planting real flowers, you could have a gardening party once or twice a year. Invite your garden loving friends over for tea and planting. They would love it and you'll have some fun.
• Hire an experienced landscaper to plant and maintain your landscape.
• Finally: IF you are hell bent on doing this, at least change them out with each season.

Bottom line: God has given us sooooooo many wonderful things that can fill our lives with beauty and joy. Many of them are on sale at Lowe's or online. Some of them are free (check out Craigslist in the "free" section). But please DO NOT DO THIS: plant artificial flowers in your yard!

HGTV's "All American Handyman"

Tonight I watched "All American Handyman" this on HGTV. I am so confused. I thought a handyman was someone who fixed things around the house. Mike Holmes, the host of "Holmes on Homes" and Scott McGillivray from "Income Property" are judging the contestants. The show's first elimination task was to have each contestant build something. I've never thought about calling a handyman to build furniture for me. Is that what they do? I mean, I know that they are supposed to be "jack of all trades" types but that's a weird way to determine if a person is a good handyman. One of the other challenges was Mike Holmes asking the contestants all types of general contractor type questions...........

Why?

 Don't get me wrong, I love Mike Holmes. I mean, I really love him. He's passionate, good at what he does, and looks so good in those tight wife beater undershirts. He's tall with strong facial bone structure and piercing eyes and his arms...................ok, just know that I love Mike Holmes. Anyway, Mike Holmes: What did those questions have to do with being a handyman? A handyman is not a general contractor, otherwise, he would be a general contractor.

For now, I'm going to keep watching and maybe I will learn something that will help us in our next home improvement project. But if they don't do a little better than this week's show, I might make it past episode 2..

THREE DUMP TRUCKS OF WOOD CHIPS

My husband just befriended a tree cutter (is that what you call them?